Best wedding reception ever?

So we have this friend who got married really quick to solve a little Visa issue she was having in another country.  As she puts it, "the government was going to kick me out, so I got married, then a week later they wrote me and told me it was a mistake and they were lying, BUT I'M STILL MAaaaaarrrrieeeeed!"

So what better way to celebrate a non-shotgun shotgun wedding 6-month anniversary then having a real reception that you didn't have time to plan the first time around?  None.  And since people didn't get to see the vows, might as well start the party off with a vow renewal in a real wedding dress.

And that is where the awesomeness began.  Because as they were renewing her vows, there was a Shriner convention starting in the ballroom next door.  Yes, a Shriner convention.  And as we were witnessing the blessed union, they were doing their own commencement ritual: namely, honouring the blessed country from which the Shriners originate by playing Oh Canada.  Thats right, at the exact same time our Canadian friend was saying her vows, the muffled lyrics of her home country started playing.

If that had been the only thing the Shriners contributed to the evening, it would've been great.  But it wasn't.  They heard about our party next door, so they decided to stop over and meet the bride and groom and share in the joy of their celebration.  Never again will I witness men in their seventies,  wearing kilts and sparkly hats, shimmy and shake to Flo Rida.  It was a highlight of MY LIFE.

They got their hip-hop fix and headed back to their party to do the Charleston or whatever it is that people born in the 30's do, and if that had been the end of their time with us, it would've been perfect.  BUT IT WASN'T.  Turns out they weren't going back to hang out with their wives, they were just going to find their bagpipes.  They got the bride to sit down and serenaded her with the bag-pipey goodness.  This may have been where she lost her garter, but I can't be sure because I was so deliriously happy to be witnessing all this comedy that I started to lose track of the details.

Then they were gone.  And they were probably tired from all that dancing and bagpiping, because we didn't see them again.  They left on a high note.  Har, har.

But don't worry, a party can continue without kilts and bagpipes.  And if the bar is open and Meatloaf comes on, who knows where things will go.  Actually, I know exactly where things will go.  As one of the sole sober people in the hall, I can recount with detail how these things shape up.
The groom gestures across the room to his cousin to join him in an intensely dramatic dance.
Cousin accepts.  Sasha stares and thinks, "where is this going?"
Cousin starts romantic in-a-field running across the hall.
Cousin reaches the dance floor.  Cousin slides across the dance floor. Sasha: "Oh my, Shawn, Shawn, look!"
Groom attempts to jump over cousin as cousin slides through his legs.  Shawn: "What'd I miss?"
Sasha: "It was amazing.  Cousin just slid under groom's legs in the the best parody dance ever."
Shawn: "He's lucky, that is a great way to bash your head off the floor."
Cousin gets up.  Missing two teeth.
Everyone thinks its hilarious.  Everyone is drunk - stuff like that is legendary.  Everyone except his 8-month pregnant wife.

AMAZING.  But the best part of that that whole episode?  The next morning at brunch I can hear someone talking behind my back, but I don't need to turn around to see who it is because he said, "There wath these guyth...."

Thank you, old Canadian friend.  That wath a theremony and party to remember.


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