Sunday, 23 March 2014

A Weekend Away

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Almost 6 years ago, Shawn and I booked an epic road trip.  We planned to start in Las Vegas, drive down to Los Angeles, and head up the Pacific Coast on Hwy. 1 to San Fransico, all the while staying in B&B's and boutique hotels, traveling at whatever pace we wanted with a list of "maybe" destinations.  We even bought expensive sunglasses to accessorize with the Californian romance of it all.  Then I got pregnant, got really sick and we cancelled the whole thing.

Then we had Nevin.  Suddenly, our schedule revolved around his schedule.  Our needs took a back seat to his, and later Scarlett's, because it was the path of least resistance.  That three week vacation turned into a "someday, when the kids move out" dream.  We are fine with that.  Life moves on and evolves.  What we didn't expect: more than five years after the arrival of our first born, we had not had a night away from the kids.  Not a single morning of just waking up quietly, without the sound of children.

A few weeks ago, my counsellor asked a simple question: "when was the last time you and your husband had a night away?"  At the end of the session, she gave me a simple task for homework - book a weekend alone.  I take her advice very seriously.

My kind parents-in-laws not only said they would keep the kids, they suggested that they spend the weekend at our house to make the kids as comfortable as possible, since it was something new.  There was nothing standing in our way; not even guilt, since it was practically a prescription on the advice of a health care professional.

So, we went to Wakefield, Quebec.  It is only a little over an hour away, but it was eons from our routines and responsibilities.  We didn't have to worry about who needed a snack, who needed to get to bed, who was about to pee their pants because they hadn't been to the washroom in... wait, how long has it been?, or who did or did not like the current excursion.  It was just us.  My counsellor said it would be a good chance for us keep our marriage strong, but I still feel pretty safe in our relationship.  For me, it was more about the freedom from my thoughts and pre-planning and constant contingency plans.  It was an opportunity to just live in the moment with my most favourite person in the world.

We had things we wanted to do: we cross-country skied, went to the spa, ate at a bakery, laid in bed (just because we could).  All of those things were unscheduled though.  On Saturday, we had a late dinner.  When we went to the spa, we got there a little later than we should've and had to wait to get in.  Breakfast was three hours later than our bellies were used to.  It didn't matter.  Waiting was glorious.  Waiting was quiet.  Our minds were quiet.

We are thinking about trying it again this summer.  We have no plans, and it won't be extravagent, but that's kind of the point: it's all about simplifying and taking ourselves back to our roots.  Its about soaking up the moment we are in.


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